I'll be handling Mr. Losett's discourse for the rest of this post

Well hello there, you might have clicked on this blog post under the assumption that you would be reading what Mr. Losett had to say about the readings for your class. I do hate to catch you off-guard but I will be handling the discourse for the rest of this post. Now I am sure you are thinking to yourself, "who exactly is writing this then? Cavin must be cheating, letting someone else post on his blog." But alas no, Mr. Losett unassumingly became disposed to the required functions critical in responding suavely for your delight.
I should jump to the chase huh? Who would have ever thought an innocent twelve pack of pure patriotic American Pabst Blue Ribbon beer would have the opportunity to share it's... thoughts and feelings to the entire world wide web.... of course judging from the glassy-eyed stare, much akin to a rather dumb dog or cow, that Mr. Losett is directing towards the computer screen; I will safely assume that perhaps a max of four or five brave souls will have the innate courage to stumble in to the horror chamber of rhetoric that Mr. Losett brazenly calls his blog.
Of course in the interim of Mr. Losett's despondent deluge towards the required and strict structure of academia, why don't I give it a shot. In these lines to follow, I sincerely ask you to humor me and follow along... it seems Mr. Losett has fallen off...his chair that is.
                                                                                                                         It might seem funny that a combined total of 144 oz of sweetly, delicious beer such as us could hold so much enlightening and thought provoking....hey! HEY!
                HEY!!! We're writing here!
"Candy canes and sugar cones make a happy gnome! a;sdlka; b ;asdf;ga gsda  adsg"

         Sorry, Mr. Losett believed he was capable of continuing on with his assuredly failed attempt at doing his homework 

 

Maybe we will write from over here to really confuse him...ahh look at him stare

blankly, the small stream of drool creeping from the

corner of his mouth, reminiscent of a gurgling two year old

discovering a dust-coated jellybean

from under the couch cushions.

Usually by now, Mr. Losett would have wittingly wrote about relevant tangents about blah, blah, blah...who cares..

I want set something straight, so listen up fuckers. If you EVER see a hipster drinking our classy contents you are to do the following:

 1. Call him a limp-dick toad sucker(interchangeable swear words are quite ok)

 2. Call upon your offended honor and engage in fisticuffs

 

I do already see a problem with this though....it would be much to offensive. So make sure you ask them to set us down first, so we don't spill or, god forbid, dent our can.

 

And can I say something else in the spirit of not caring because this isn't my blog and you will all likely be judging Mr. Losett for what I have written. Come to think about it, Mr. Losett is at my complete and utter mercy; but in case you didn't know, mercy is not in my ingredients...seriously read a can or look it up or something. Ahh shit, never mind folks. I hate to be rude to you, yes you, you cherub reader you ol' dog you. It seems Mr. Losett is losing complete motor control and has taken it upon himself to strip his shirt and go on a...jog? Seriously who goes on jogs? That is just completely ludicrous. However I feel it my obligation to ensure that he trips multiple times, screams profanities, and .............oops gotta jog~!